My best efforts from last night’s life drawing session:
I’ve been working more with the tiny watercolor set of my mom’s, and one of my favorite things to use watercolors for so far is life drawing. I’ve been drawing with pens forever, I know how they work for the most part, and making those lines of a human body has become familiar and it’s easy to settle into a particular style that I already know how to do. Painting a watercolor nude is a whole new ballgame for me, using lines, yes, but with a brush, with these fast-drying watery lines, and also swaths of color. Sometimes there is more paint on the brush than i realize, or less. I can play with heavier color, lighter color, shading, mixing. Even just the physical act of dipping the brush in water, then in paint, then sliding it against the rough paper is captivating for me. It takes longer, which fills up the minutes of each pose more quickly. I am more engaged in each moment.
And now for a little music: my cover of Rivers and Roads by The Head and the Heart on ukulele:
As spring finally starts coming in the door, I can feel myself exhale. Winter was hard. I’m so tired of being cold, of the dark and grey days, of wearing boots and coats and hats. I want to feel air on my skin and walk outside without being huddled, face aimed down at the icy ground. I know my new life is waiting to begin. Something has been percolating– ideas, freshness, sparks. I’m surrounded by my old life everywhere, and nothing seems right because my mom is missing. I want to start a new life.
So, part of that is making the old things new. Two weeks in a row I’ve gone to life drawing, something I always did with my mom before she died. I’m trying to make it my own thing now.
At Life Drawing last night we didn’t have a model, so we took turns posing and drew each other. It was really fun– just a small group of us, an interesting way to interact, and a different experience than the usual.
At the end of the evening Ann said to me, “I hope it was more fun than sadness.” All these things that I do, most of them I used to do with my mom, and in doing them I feel the great shadow of her absence. Nothing is “good” in the way that word used to mean. But at the same time as I feel sad, I can be having fun, and I guess that’s just how it’s going to be from now on.
First of all, happy birthday Mama!
It’s been a busy summer and I hadn’t been able to go to my weekly life drawing group in a LONG time and last night was my first night back. Often when I haven’t been in a while my drawings don’t come out very good, because my life drawing muscles haven’t been exercised. But sometimes that freshness of not having been works really well. Last night was great! Not only did it feel so good to be there but I also have some drawings that I’m really proud of. Here are my favorites (click on each image to see it bigger):