my sister, and the seconds

My sister Phoebe doesn’t take a lot of photos. I don’t think she even has a camera right now. My dad and I are always begging for more pictures of her life, and of her, records of things. I take a ton of photos. I like to record life as I live it, having something to look back on to see who I was and what I was paying attention to in a certain moment. I take pictures every week of my growing belly, of my food, my coffee, my cats, the trees, the people. My life.

Here is a post Phoebe did on her blog in July 2013, only three months after our mom died. Her “ode to the seconds.” I love thinking of life this way– in seconds, which are more manageable than days, or even hours. We’re all only living one second at a time anyway, right? One second, and then the next. Like how film runs through a projector– 24 frames per second, making it look like time passing.

This is a photo Phoebe took of me that July:

dscf0051.jpg In my river, the swimming hole spot by my old apartment, where I used to go almost every day in the summer. I remember this day: Phoebe, our cousins (Craig, Austin, Carson), and me swimming in the river before meeting everyone else for dinner at Coyote Flaco. Our whole family was in town for a memorial art show of our mom’s work. Phoebe would be going back to Chile soon after. It was a really hard summer. But there’s joy on my face here– in that moment being in the cold water which was a relief from the heat, and also the sweet feeling of being held up, and being with my family. I’m glad to have this. To see myself through my sister’s eyes in this moment, on this July day three months after our mom died.

 

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